June 9, 2010

• Why am I so much happier late at night?  Is it because I am nocturnal or some such nonsense, or is there something else?

  It is a fact that I have never in my life been a morning person.  Mrs. T. used to say that my circadian rhythms were just a little different from everyone else's, or something to that effect.  In fact, since my mother went to bed at midnight I have managed to crochet some towel toppers for the wedding on Saturday, clean up the kitchen, catch up on my Star Trek, and talk with several of my Athens friends.  On the other hand, I accomplished my laundry, grocery shopping and prescription filling, cleaning up the kitchen (from the day before), and undergoing the rigorous process of finding a towel topper pattern that would work during my mother's waking hours today.  But that was under duress, including unhappiness, sleepiness, and stress.

  Am I really that antisocial?  No, that can't be it.  I am actually more social, conversing with many people through various means at night.  I really do feel as if I simply work better late at night.  Perhaps it's fewer distractions.

  Or perhaps it's because I allow myself to do what I want when I am alone at night.  I allow myself to pursue the activities I really want to pursue, rather than forcing myself to do what my mother or anyone else wants me to.  I usually spend several hours at night watching Youtube, even during school, which I think I have justified in my mind as a means of winding down for the night, but which stretches on and on into the wee hours.

  But that must be it.  Daytime is work time, nighttime is Steph time.  I feel so focused and free and able to do what I like.

  That makes the reason I'm unable to sleep until six AM lately more understandable.

  • 3:17 am
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